Fraud and Deception

For most schools in Metro Manila, today would be the opening day. And we were one those who went to the first day of classes today. True enough, the first day always proved to be the hardest. It is my fourth going through first days in QueSci but this was one of the most memorable ones. See, for me, one of the major things to accomplish before the day ends is acceptance of where you are now. It could be with a bunch of people who take care of their grades for fun, some bullies who bully one another, a noisy cluster, or an eerily silent one. The thing is you have to accept where you were put thinking this is the ground where you are to excel and prove yourself worthy despite obstacles.
But one of the things I hate the most is fraud and hypocrisy. I hate those people who try to befriend you out of courtesy then criticizes you out of their need to--but still out of courtesy, they do it behind you. I'm quite judgmental when it comes to these kind of people who paint their face that of a mask just like in the picture. Their faces covered with luscious red smiles and eyes as deep as the darkest hole that hides under the revealing light of the sun. I may talk a little bit poetic when it comes to their description but it's quite true. Under pressure, you can see their true colors showing off as courtesy fails to make its way through them. It's hard not to avoid them although they don't breed much but when you're in the middle of a whole class of this type, it might turn out quite troublesome. Like I said, I maybe am overlooking things judging them all without giving them a chance and yet an old fear runs through me as I desperately try to hear an honest heart beat. And I admit, this fear is trying to paralyze me.
It turns out, as much as I don't like them, they don't like me either. They see me as a cold-blood. Someone who would blatantly kill given the need to. And with my immense fear breeding inside me, I can't promise I won't. Quite literally, they see me as someone with eyes as sharp as daggers and a snobbish attitude that can hurt. I am hurt as well by the way they look at me but I'm not sure I want to be caught off guard trying to make new friends that would turn into carbon like diamonds in their twilight years. I've been fooled more than enough for me to see that I'd rather have them all hate me up front than have them use me to their advantage and my downfall. You may see me full of pride but that pride is just a layer to cover up for fear. I don't care what they think. I'm going to prove myself worthy loved or not.